I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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