just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
