Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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