with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I have peed in a lot of sinks
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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