I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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