so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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