I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
