you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
