You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
now i know why i became what i already was.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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