he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
