So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
