the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
