Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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