You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
