I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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