sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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