My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize