new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
