Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I want to be your penis for a week.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
