if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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