I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
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