come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
