you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
im about as happy as oj after his trial
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
