my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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