Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
