it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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