this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize