So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
