it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
