we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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