we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
