I didn't shave. On purpose
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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