I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
