You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
