you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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