Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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