and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
