It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
