I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
