Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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