I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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