spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
