Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
