That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
