awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
