just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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