Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
