The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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