My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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