even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
