I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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