sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
