I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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