sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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