I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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