i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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