so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
