PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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