he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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