i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
