Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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