All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize