Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize