my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
