i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
