no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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