Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
