i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
