I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
