We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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