i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
