I cannot find my penis.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
